The What, Why and How of Personality Development

By Haneena Atheeq - July 17, 2020

"Every moment of one's existence,one is growing into more or retreating into less"
                                                                                                                     -Norman Mailer

The What?

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The quote rightly points out to Personality development at every stage of our life.
When we speak about Personality development, it doesn't always mean changing one's character but is mostly oriented to inner growth. As per the scientific explanation, Personality development refers to the pattern of thoughts and behaviours that are unique to a person. Personality development is a way how we interact, think and present ourselves to other people. It also describes how we face problems when adversities strike us.

The Why?

Personality development is a lifelong skill which will demand us to constantly push ourselves forward. The way we take on rejections, not getting promoted, losing a loved one or any other loss in life ultimately leads us back to how we define ourself and rebuild our life despite of everything. These challenges are what makes  Personality development necessary.
No individual has the perfect personality when he/she is born. It is an acquired trait that anybody can master as we go through life.

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"Personality Development is to believe that you are worth the effort, time and everything needed to develop yourself "
                                                                                                                  - Denis Waitley

The importance of Personality development can't be overlooked. It is a bridge that separates you from the crowd and helps you achieve your goals in a time saving manner.

Stages of Personality development

As written by Erin Falconer, the article describes 4 stages of Personality development. These stages can be repetitive, interchanged or reciprocal. But it ultimately leads to a change in your personality.

  1. The Unknowing
  • This is the stage where you are unknown of the things you are going through.
  • You are constantly seeking reason and understanding of your problems.
  • You are unaware of solutions and keep making several mistakes.
  • Overconfidence can keep you from not achieving your goals and solving problems.
  1. Awareness
  • This is when you realise about your problems and become aware of your situations.
  • You are open to understand and learn from people and gain an understanding of yourself and the world around you.
  • You might also become aware of your potential and abilities at this stage.
  1. Acceptance
  • You start accepting the change that you'll need to develop yourself.
  • Self acceptance starts giving you the confidence that you have the ability to change.
  • You express gratitude towards the things and people around you.
  • You acknowledge your problems and the self love makes you stronger and motivated.

    4. Responsibility

  • You take charge of your problems and start working towards them.
  • You understand it all begins with a change.
  • This stage is difficult even though your drive is strong.
  •  But you also feel that control on your life.

    5. Application

  • It's an exciting stage, but you keep getting demotivated by the obstacles on your way.
  • You feel stuck but you learn to get yourself on track by setting goals and acting on them.
  • This stage will require you to work on 3 things.
    • A strong why
    • Self discipline
    • Focus
  • As long as you constantly keep asking the why question to yourself, you'll be able to follow the rest.

      6. Purpose

  • There's no goal without purpose. Sometimes the goal can be the purpose itself.
  • You find the innermost purpose in this stage.
  • You get better at your life and learn to grow.

These stages are something that we don't realise when it actually goes on in our life. But it plays an important factor in dealing with emerging problems.

The How?

To improve your personality-
  1. Widen your interests
  • Keep expanding your interests across various fields. Seek knowledge and learn new things consistently.

  1. Read more
  • Reading various novels, books and self help guides will enhance your knowledge and widen your perspective.

  1. Discover your own style
  • Some people prefer music during work while some like a quite library. Look for what works for you.

  1. Have better conversations
  • Converse about topics outside your domain. Approach people with broader knowledge than you.

  1. Meet different people
  • It's very interesting how different people have different thought processes. Every individual is an expert on something or the other. Interacting with people gives you experiences beyond your horizon.

  1. Polish interpersonal skills
  • The way you listen, negotiate and deal with people plays a huge role in your personal and professional life. Mastering these skills will give you an edge over others.

  1. Be flexible
  • Focus on quality rather than time to get your work done.

  1. Preserve your sanity
  • Be cool and calm. Practice meditation and keep limited social distractions.

  1. Celebrate your milestones
  • Setting realistic goals and achieving them can itself serve as a motivation for growth.

  1. Be a Cation!
  • Cations loses electrons (negativity) to become positive.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one."
                                                                                                           - Henry David Thoreau

Ultimately, it's you who can make your life better and be the best version of yourself!


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